Animals
by vampiregrrrl110
Summary: “It’s not that we enjoy your possessions, Edward. We enjoy the sex, plain and simple. Wherever we choose is the most plausible place for,” he looked at Alice suggestively, “Our latest. . .fantasy. Or, simply the closest, most comfortable place.” Jasper an
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This is something that I hope is REALLY FUN. Both for you and Emmett and Rosalie. And Alice and Jasper. And, um Bella too. **

**Yep. I'm picking on Eddie again. Who wouldn't? He's just **_**so adorable **_**when he's mad!**

**Enjoy!**

Edward's POV  
Bell and I were sitting in the living room, watching television, alone. Well. _She _was watching. I was watching her watching the tv. And how could I not? Her reactions were priceless.

I would have enjoyed a chick flick, that made her cry, but this wasn't bad either. She was watching some reruns of 'Supernatural', a show on the CW11.

And blushing at whatever crude comments Jensen Ackles character, Dean, made. Which were graphic and frequent.

Her cheeks also turned deliciously pink when he bedded another girl. Which was quite frequent also.

Is _that _what she liked? Crude comments and retarded pick-up lines? I doubted it. Perhaps the danger or his 'bad-boy' approach was what she found intriguing. But. Then again, she got herself into enough danger.

Or, was it that he killed supernatural creatures? I remembered an episode where they killed a vampire coven. . . .

"Cool it, Edward!" I heard Jasper's voice call down the stairs to say. "Your insecurity is doing _nothing _for me right now!"

**Jasper's POV  
**I turned back to Alice, who looked like a fantasy in a short, plaid skirt, a midriff shirt that exposed her beautiful snowy stomach, and a plaid tie, the same material as her skirt.

She'd put on some blush and gone for the innocent look. All so I could live out one of my fantasies.

Well. She'd be more. . ._alluring, _shall we say, in a hoopskirt, but it wasn't like they sold those in the lingerie 'dress up' store.

So, back to Alice. "Professor?" she said, as I sat at my desk. I raised my eyes, attempting not to grin.

"Yes, _Mary-_Alice? Did you. . . _need _something?" I asked her, playing along, and taking the sight of her in.

"Well, Professor, you see, I've been having some trouble with my homework, so I was wondering if you could give me some _lessons?" _she questioned, her eyes twinkling deviously.

"Of course. What subjects did you need tutoring in?" I asked.

"Oh, well everything really. Math, Biology, Sex Education. . ."

"Well, by all means, I'll start your lessons now. You must be very _behind _with trouble in those subjects. Let's go find an empty classroom, shall we?" I told her, standing up.

Hmmm. I thought Edward's room was free. They were downstairs watching television, and I didn't want to _ever _set foot in Emmett and Rosalie's room, for fear of the bed starting to vibrate or something.

And everyone knows that nothing has ever been done in Edward's room. It was the _perfect _room for an _innocent _schoolgirl and professor to. . ._christen, _shall we say.

Alice led me in there, our thoughts identical.

I stood, with her in front of me, by the bed. "So. Let's start the Math first." I slowly untied the knot holding her shirt in place, unbuttoned her shirt and slid it off. And threw it aside somewhere.

"_That _was subtraction." I told her.

"Hmm." She feigned thoughtfulness. "I do think I like that function better than addition. Let's try some more. To make sure I get the hang of it." She whispered devilishly.

She unbuttoned my shirt, threw it aside, and kissed me.

Needless to say, we skipped Bio and went straight to Sex Ed. In Edward's bedroom. The irony could kill me.

If I weren't already dead, that is.

**Edward's POV**

Bella turned to me, her beautiful brown expressive eyes curious. I shrugged and she turned back to the movie.

When I mentioned we were alone, I meant in the room. Jasper and Alice were upstairs, doing _something, _and Emmett and Rosalie were in the garage, tinkering with one of the cars again.

I could hear vaguely the sounds of 'Animals' by Nickelback coming from the garage.

A hard rock intro, then:  
'_I am driving black on black, Just got my license back,  
I've got this feeling in my veins this train is coming off the track,  
I'll ask. . .'_

Huh. _Dis_gusting. His screaming didn't interest me. I turned my attention back to my love's face, where I brushed away a stray lock of hair and she continued to watch the episode.

**Meanwhile. . .**

**Rosalie's POV  
**I, clad in jeans and a tank top, was underneath the hood of a car.

Big surprise, right?

I was _completely _in my element. I _lusted _four things in life:  
Emmett, cars, and myself.

Hmm, I did say four, didn't I?

Oh! And family.

The stereo was on, playing Nickelback's 'Rockstar', while I was tinkering with Emmett's car. I was just giving it a check-up, giving it some more speed, and so on, while the love of my death, Emmett, leaned on my car, taking in the vision that was me.

I really couldn't blame him. He was looking at me with _such _love in his eyes, it was all I could do not to jump him right there.

As 'Rockstar' came to a close, he got up, came over to me and stood behind me, wrapping his _large _arms around my slender waist.

I shivered at his touch, and twisted my neck as he kissed it, slowly, torturously. . .

He _knew _I hated this. _I _was supposed to be the one doing the seducing. Not him.

Whenever he came at me, it was quick, true, but loving, and passionate and _really, really hard._

With me, well, I liked to torture. To dangle something in front of his face, daring him to come and get it, and pulling it away from him at the last possible second.

He always got it in the end though. I'm not that mean. And I had needs too; slow seduction wasn't easy at _all._

Then, Emmett's current favourite song came on. Ha. Slow seduction was out of the picture for him too.

His kisses became more insistent, and, in a few seconds, we were full on making out.

Anticipating what was coming next, and not wanting to make the hood of a car on of our places, we jumped into the back sat of the Volvo.

'_I'm driving past your house, while you were sneaking out,  
I got the car door opened up so you can jump in on the run,  
Your mom, don't know that you were missing,  
She'd be pissed if she could see the parts of you that I've been kissing,_

_Screamin' __**no. . . .'**__  
_

We were kissing, and kissing, him holding my head and the small of my back, my hands around his neck, running up and down his _chiseled _abs, gripping his soft curls. . .

His hands roaming, on my ass, underneath my shirt, cupping my breasts, unclasping my bra, his mouth going down on my breasts. . .

Then, when I sensed his favourite part of the song coming up, I undid his belt, and unzipped his pants, and pushed down his boxer-briefs.

'_You're beside me on the seat, got your head between my knees,  
And you control how fast we go by just how hard you wanna squeeze,  
It's hard, to steer, when you're breathing in my ear, but I've got both hands on the wheel while you've got both hands on my __**gifts. . . .'**_

I did just that, bent my head between his knees, while he held my hair back, while holding onto my shoulders so tightly like he was holding on for dear life.

I smiled, swallowed, and _squeezed._

He gasped in _absolute ecstacy, _something that he was _very _familiar with, after meeting me. . .

**Edward's POV  
**I sighed contentedly, thankful that everyone was with their mate. It was rare that Bella and I ever got alone time together in my house, just to sit, and enjoy each other's company.

Then, I remembered, I was supposed to tell Rosalie something about the tint on my windows, that it was too light. After all, I didn't want that _vile _Mike Newton looking in and noticing Bella and I ki-um. Talking. Yes, _talking. _About art.

But, I needed to go find Rosalie. So I got up, shifting Bella off of me, gently, as she looked at me questioningly.

"I have to go and find Rosalie." I told her apologetically.

"I'll come." She grinned, held my hand, and stood up.

We walked slowly.

"So. Enjoying the marathon?" she asked.

I winced. "Hardly. But I was enjoying watching _you."_

She blushed, exactly what I was going for.

Ha. And I was worried about her and the Hunters of Supernatural?

We finally reached the garage, and I was hearing the last sounds of 'Animals' wafting through the door:

'_We were parked out by the tracks, we're sitting in the back,  
And we just started getting busy when she whispered, 'What was that?'_

Huh. Had to be Emmett and Rosalie. First the terrible Discovery Channel Song, then _this._

My siblings really had _no _taste in music. Then, I grabbed for the handle of the door, when I noticed some strange sounds and heated thoughts.

**Rosalie's POV**

"Wait." Emmett pulled away, with a lot of effort, it looked like.

"I don't like to wait." I whispered in his ear, and pulled him back for another breathless kiss.

He reciprocated, then pulled away _again, _and said, "No, what was that? No one's here." He looked puzzled.

All I heard was the stereo:

'_We just started getting busy when she whispered, 'what was that?'  
'The wind, I think 'cuz no one else knows where we are,'  
And that was when she started screamin', 'that's my dad outside the car!'_

Then, I noticed a guy. Hmm. Must be Jasper. With the emotions coming out of this car, he should know not to bother us.

I dragged Emmett's head back down for another kiss.

'_Oh please, the keys, they're not in the ignition,'  
Must of fallen on the floor while we were switching our positions. . .'_

Then the door was wrenched open, and I saw the outraged face of poor, pure, young, chaste Eddie.

And he was _pissed._

**Edward's POV**

Then, I saw two murky figures glued together.

In _**my Volvo**_

_Emmett and Rosalie._

_Were __**dead.**_

I released my grip on Bella's hand.

And wrenched open the door.

Of _**my**__ damned Volvo!_

"What the _hell _are you two doing? First the Aston Martin, Then the freaking _piano, _now my _Volvo? _What is wrong with you two? Are you intent on _desecrating everything I own _with your _perpetual_ _horniness? _Here I find you both, blatantly _copulating _in the back seat of _my_ _car! _You have your own! Why the hell don't you _use _it?! If it's not the car, it's the wall, if it's not the wall, it's the piano! Why are you so _determined_ to damage my innocence? And why the frick is everything you have sex on_,mine? _You have your own bed, you have your own cars, and if the piano turns you on that much, get your own! You don't find Alice and Jasper marking every _surface _with their fornication! That's _it! _I have had it! You will _never _be in the living room unchaperoned by either Bella, or myself, or in this garage with my cars without either of us! You have _no respect _for my property!"

A very shocked and amused Rosalie and Emmett stared back at me.

"Why Edward. I think your only problem with our _fornication,_ as you put it, is your jealousy that you can't. Face it, Sex-Ed. You've been so repressed for _so _many years, that you've become a eunuch, however unknowingly. It's not your fault that Bella wasn't born when you were young. And, face it, you've had a spot of trouble finding a guy to be your butt-monkey too.  
I mean, in your time, masturbation was associated with blindness, and playing the piano was a testament of virginity and purity. It's just so sad that as a vampire, we couldn't find you a good prostitute to educate you." Rosalie said calmly, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

I was so angry, so _outraged, _that I couldn't say anything, couldn't _think _of any words to describe my infuriation.

"What's the matter Eddie? Repression finally catching up with you?" Emmett asked slyly.

"Don't clench your fists like that, you'll damage your piano playing hands! And God knows that's the only thing they can play." Rosalie asked, not breathing from laughter.

I turned to a _very _red faced Bella, and stormed out of the room.

**Alice's POV  
** "What is it, dearest?" Jasper asked, looking up at me.

I was straddling him, with just my boy shorts on, and he only had his boxer-briefs on, my schoolgirl costume forgotten in pieces on the floor.

"Edward seems to have discovered Emmett and Rosalie in the backseat of his car. He's absolutely _livid." _I grinned.

"Hmm, yes, I hear him now. They should probably run. Poor Bella's probably afraid for her life right now, the state he's in. Yes, she's quite scared. And, what is that? _Amusement? _HmmThey'd better watch out. I would usually go downstairs, and bask in his discomfort, but, I'd _much _rather be doing this, so let's continue." Jasper said, in a joking voice.

And so I did. After I shed the remainder of clothes on _both _of our bodies.

_God, that felt good._

**Bella's POV**

Edward had me by the hand and we were walking up the stairs to his room. I wondered where Alice and Jasper were. Usually they wouldn't have missed this. It left me wondering if perhaps, they were, errr, 'tied up' as well.

We'd been watching 'Supernatural', when Edward said he had to find Rosalie, so I went with him.

We found her, alright. Found her 'copulating', as Edward said, with Emmett. This fact wouldn't bother Edward much usually.

Except, this time, it happened to be in his car. So, naturally, he turned into the Incredible Hulk. Minus the awful green tinge, though.

I could see where he was coming from, but it _was _Emmett and Rosalie. What _else _would you expect?

Even in the broom cupboard in _school. . ._Jeez. Had they _no_ shame?

But, then again, who's to say when I'm turned, I won't have more of a hunger, than a thirst, if you catch my drift?

Seriously, from all this pent up, ummmm, _energy, _for lack of a better word, who's to say we won't become the next 'perpetually horny' pair?

I could only hope.

I had found the situation downstairs quite comical. Edward's fury isn't funny, but the whole situation, was just. . . _funny! _I didn't know why.

But then again, I think it's funny when Emmett and Jasper tease Edward about being inexperienced too. His reactions are pure fury, but _so priceless._

And his siblings comebacks to his rants? Hilarious and sarcastic.

I was embarrassed, sure, but no one was paying attention to me, so I'd started giggling softly.

Until Edward grabbed my hand, spun on his heel, and stormed out of the room.

Now, I had to use all my concentration to keep a straight face. In front of my livid vampire boyfriend.

Hmm, we were nearly to the door of his room now. I wondered if he was interested in breaking some boundaries to blow off some steam. . .

I _certainly _wouldn't object. . .

_**Edward's POV  
**_This was always to be expected. Emmett and Rosalie. They had no respect for _anyone's _property.

No, actually, allow me to rephrase that. They had no respect for _my _property. And why? Because I was physically the youngest and most inexperienced with women.

So they felt the need to tease and taunt me all the time, embarrass me in front of Bella, in front of Carlisle and Esme _all _the time, who could do nothing but watch and laugh on some occasions.

Why? Really _why _do they feel the need to desecrate my property, my prized possessions, with their carnal behavior?

Why can't they do that on Jasper and Alice's bed? Or desk? Or _freaking carpet?_

_**Why?!**_

I calmed myself down slightly, looking at Bella. She hadn't said a word. I'd probably scared her with my ranting and raving.

My Bella. Don't worry, I could never be angry at you, then I saw the barest _hint _of a grin on her face.

She thought this was _funny? _This was most certainly _not _funny. This was the least comical thing, _ever!_

Then, I wrenched open the door to my room. And got quite a shock.

It was Jasper and Alice. On my bed. On _Bella, _and _my bed. _

On _**our bed.**_

Were they crazy? What would possess them to-?! Oh God _why?_

Jasper paused, in all his clothes-less glory. And looked to the doorway. At me. Then Bella. And sent as many calm and most importantly _peaceful _waves at me as he could.

"Get out. Put on your clothes, and get _out. _I _don't care_ about peace and serenity right now Jasper. Tell me, _please, _exactly what is _so _alluring about procreating on my possessions? What? Because my siblings seem to enjoy it so _thouroughly._ Care to shed some light on that?" I said, calmer now, because of Jasper.

Alice had the good grace to look ashamed.

"It's not that we enjoy your possessions, Edward. We enjoy the sex, plain and simple. Wherever we choose is the most plausible place for," he looked at Alice suggestively, "Our latest. . ._fantasy. _Or, simply the closest, most comfortable place." Jasper answered, not managing to make it sound offensive.

Which was quite a feat.

Bella looked fit to burst. From laughing. That's right. Giggles bubbled out of her slowly, then filled the whole room. Jasper, taking advantage, grabbed onto her mirth, and sent out waves to the whole room.

And then he took the chance of, at vampire speed, gathering his, and Alice's clothes, and zipping out of the room.

Which, when he left, filled once more with my rage. Big surprise.

"Bella." I said stiffly.

She looked at me, red faced and beautiful.

"I'm going to lodge a complaint." I told her seriously.

"To _who? _" She asked.

"To the parents. They can punish them." She looked disbelieving, but came with me to the Aston Martin. The only car not recently contaminated by my siblings.

**You likie my story? Then review plz! Feedback is MY heroin! Hmm. I wonder what happens when Carlisle and Esme have a talk with Edward about his, ahem, OVERACTIVE siblings?**

**REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys! Listen, I'm really sorry it took so long, but I've gotta thank my betas, Irina and Joanie for reading, and critiquing. Thanks guys!**

**Bella's POV.**

We drove to the hospital faster than usual. I didn't speak the whole way, because, to be honest, Edward had a bit of a crazed look in his eye.

And you don't mess with a crazed, repressed vampire.

That's like holding your bloody hand out to a rabid dog, And saying, 'Come get it! Tasty blood!'.

And, regardless of what Edward says, I do have some form of self-preservation.

After the second episode, where he found Alice and Jasper doing the dirty deed in his _bed, _he got a little. . . um. . . .psycho.

So, I very smartly elected not to say anything for the drive.

I wondered vaguely what Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were doing. It was probably a continuation of their, um, fantasies, as Jasper so wisely called it.

I looked at Edward. Beautiful, smart Edward. Sigh. It was so sad that he was always the one to get teased by his siblings, about his virginity, his lack of experience.

Things got even worse after Emmett saw 'The Forty Year Old Virgin'.

They didn't usually tease me about it, but that was probably because I was actually eighteen, not a hundred and six year old virgin.

With my 'one track mind', as Edward liked to call it, I could never have stayed a virgin for as long as he had.

Which made me think about his self-control. Damn, that boy was good.

Which made me think a little more. With all these things stressing him out, I should find a de-stressing method for him.

One that Alice might have to help me a little with. I said no sex until marriage, but there were _LOTS _of things we could do that didn't actually involve the insertion of stick A into slot B, if you catch my drift.

But, that method was gonna have to come after this little excursion. When he was a little less crazed.

Ooh. We're here. I wonder how he's going to get Carlisle and Esme to punish his sex-crazed siblings. Oh well. I'll find out soon.

He just opened the door for me, looking very far away. I hope he doesn't do anything too drastic. As Alice is fond of saying, her dear brother has the slightest tendency to overreaction.

I looked at him tentatively as we walked. He didn't even glance at me. He was muttering to himself, quickly, in vampire speed, so, naturally, I didn't catch a single word.

He ignored the flustered nurse who asked him if he needed any help and, as he neared Dr. Cullen's office, he paid no attention to yet _another _nurse who I heard saying, "He's having lunch with Mrs. Cullen! He asked not to be disturbed!"

Then I realized. They were having _lunch. Didn't want to be disturbed. _Dammit. I didn't want an emotionally scarred vampire for the rest of eternity, so I uttered, "No, Edward _wait!"_

Which, in the middle of, he promptly wrenched open the door, exposing Carlisle and Esme against the wall, him supporting her, her legs wrapped around his waist, as they kissed with their uhhh, pants down.

Ok. I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see that. La-di-da-di-dum.

Nup, I did _not _just see my future 'adoptive' parents doing the deed in the doctor's office. Yeah, If I pretend I didn't see it, it's not there.

And, therefore, I will _not _be emotionally scarred for the rest of my existence with the sight of matrimonial porn.

Ok. This _so _isn't working. You know what, let's try the truth, okay Bella?

Okay, the truth is. . . My eyes! My eyes are _burning! _Stop the fire Edward! The fire in my _eyes!_

Another thing. . . So, was today 'have raunchy sex on things that aren't yours' day, and Edward and I just missed the memo?

Huh?

At least I was doing better than Edward. Who appeared to be hyperventilating. When he didn't even need to breathe. Okay, time to take him to the meadow. Where he can get un-traumatized. Hopefully.

He slammed the door, and I put my hand around his waist and guided him out of the hospital, where everyone stood, speechless.

Carlisle and Esme would be the talk of the _town _by tomorrow.

**Carlisle's POV  
**Oops. I looked at Esme. Seconds ago, she'd been in the throes of passion. So had I, for that matter. But, that was before our _son, _who just _happened _to be a mind-reader, burst in the door of my office. Unannounced.

You see, with the _mind-reader _thing, I thought we'd have been safe, with him at least. And Jasper. And, really the _whole _family. Drawing on the fact that we're _vampires _and have _enhanced _hearing.

So, I thought we'd have been sheltered from this particular phenomenon.

Coming to think of it, Edward must not have been concentrating on our thoughts, because, when he burst through that door, his face did look somewhat. . .pained.

And why would he come here during the day anyway? He could've called. It must have been something important.

I met Esme's gaze. She looked terribly embarrassed. I supposed now wouldn't be a good time to tell her that the doctors and nurses outside the door had seen us.

"Carlisle, darling." She started, somewhat timidly.

"Next time we choose one of our. . . 'places', let's make sure it's not by a door, which, if opened, the whole of Forks can see us, hmm?" she said, rather quickly.

I nodded emphatically.

Then, my phone rang. The family was the only one who had the number. Something _must _be wrong.

**Edward's POV  
**I tried not to think. I tried not to read anyone's thoughts. I tried to picture the meadow, Alaska, and my Volv-_no. _My Aston Martin. I attempted to picture the most non sexual things I could think of.

It still didn't remove the memories of my _siblings _having _sex _on my possessions. What were they thinking?

No! I knew what they were thinking. Disgusting, heated thoughts, that made me _wish _I could puke, to get rid of this, this, _feeling _in my stomach. Ugh!

Before I knew it, we'd reached the hospital. Bella had been silent the whole way, and I got out of the car, opening the door for her, and almost carrying her to get to Carlisle's office, because I was in a hurry.

I walked at a quick pace, ignoring the vile nurses that tried to stop me.

We reached the office, and, seconds before I wrenched the door open, Bella said something like 'stop,' which I ignored also. I didn't mean to, but I just opened the door, too quickly for her to stop me.

Oh, how I wish I'd listened.

The sight that greeted me was that of my adoptive parents, having sex on the wall of his office, with him hoisting her up against the wall.

Something that I never wished to see.

Carlisle thought something like, '_Close the door Edward!' _

And Esme was frozen, in shock. I don't think she even _thought _anything, like, she was completely frozen.

I too, was shocked, and frozen, it seemed like.

I was also traumatized. Very, _very _traumatized. _And, _it was the strangest thing, I felt like I couldn't _breathe, _so I sucked in air as quickly as I could, but I still couldn't. . .

Luckily, Bella put her hand around my waist and guided me through the hospital doors.

And out into the car, where she took the keys out of my pocket.

And drove, with her warm hand on my cold one, for the whole ride.

All the while I muttered, "Freesia, Bella, sun, meadow, wedding," over and over and over.

Bella looked worried.

**Okay guys, you know the drill. Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Since I've kept you all waiting so long, I decided to double. Hope you enjoy it!**

**Bella's POV  
**Finally, we reached the turn-off to our Meadow. For the whole drive, Edward had been muttering under his breath. He'd never been this. . . disturbed by his siblings before. I mean, usually, they played a joke on him, He plotted against them. That's how it was.

But this. . . well. He seemed _much_ more distressed this time. Perhaps it was because he caught all three couples in his family having sex, all at the same time. Maybe I shouldn't have laughed.

Maybe it was because he was the one teased and taunted all the time for being a virgin, and brooding and cynical. Whatever reason it was, he _needed _some stress relief. _Desperately._

And I was going to give it to him. No matter what it took. True, Edward was overprotective. He had his faults. Actually, that was the only one, but that's beside the point.

The point was, he did anything for me. Anything at all. He fought his bloodlust for me, for us to be together. He would've lived in depression for years, wanting me to be happy, if I hadn't chosen him. So, it was time for me to do something for him.

Something that, hopefully, would take his mind off of the situation at hand.

**Edward's POV  
**We'd stopped. We reached the turn-off to the meadow. Our Meadow. Our pure, beautiful Meadow, where all the bad things would go away. I got out of the car, opened Bella's door, and hoisted her onto my back.

Then, we were running. We ran till we got to the clearing. I let Bella off, quickly, and looked at the beautiful, sunny meadow.

Then I looked at Bella, and the Sun on her face. She looked so bright, but her beautiful alabaster brow furrowed in worry.

Worry for me. Oh, I'd done it _again. _I'd gotten so caught up in my own troubles and self-consciousness, that I hadn't even thought about what Bella wanted. And now, she was terribly concerned, over my overreaction, and disregard.

Okay, well, it wasn't an overreaction. Really, if all of your siblings had sex on _your _possessions, you'd be a little disturbed too.

The point was, Bella was always sacrificing her wants, her needs, her normal life, for me. I wanted to make a conscious effort to do the same for her. The only problem was how.

**Bella's POV  
**As we reached the bright Meadow, he put me down, and looked around, thinking. Oh God. He was thinking about his family again, I could tell from the distressed look on his angel's face.

This needed to stop. Now.

I walked to him, firmly, (for me) took his hand, and pulled him down. He sank down without hesitation.

I decided to do then what we'd done that first day in the meadow. I gently traced the blue-ish veins on his snow-white hands.

Like that day in the meadow, his muscles relaxed, and, as I got to the underside of his elbow, his hand flipped over, too quickly for my human eyes to catch.

This time, I expected it. He relaxed, and basked in the sun, as I slowly ran my fingertips over his hands. I reached his forearm, then went to his shirt, and unbuttoned it, slowly.

His eyes closed, as my fingers moved on his cool skin. By now, his shirt was completely unbuttoned.

I shifted my position a little, getting slightly closer to him. I kissed him. His sculpted cheeks, his forehead, his eyelids, then, lastly, his lips.

This took him by surprise. As my lips brushed against his, his eyes flew open, then fluttered closed again. His hands stayed in place, on the grass, his figure relaxed, and his weight back on his hands.

I wondered. . . I parted my lips slowly, gauging his reaction as I went. Now, because he was so tall, obviously, I was sort of sitting on my calves, and feet, directly in front of him.

As my lips parted, his relaxed stance was over, and his large hands were on my tiny waist, securing me there.

Our lips moved together, became one, so in tune with each other. It was heaven. Or, maybe as Edward says, hell.

Still observing his reactions carefully, I bit his lower lip, softly. He groaned, giving me a second or so to breathe.

"Bella," he whispered, almost getting away from my lips, to kiss my neck. No way. It was his turn today. While I didn't actually agree with Rosalie on the 'torturing him till he cracks' part, no _way, _was he going to be the caresser and kisser today. This was _my _job, and, today, I'd claimed it.

So there.

I unlocked my hand from behind his neck, and hooked my forefinger underneath his chin, turning his face back to mine, and meeting his lips.

**Alice's POV  
**I actually felt slightly guilty about what had happened with Edward, Jasper and me. We might have gotten a little _too _carried away in the 'schoolgirl fantasy'.

Now Edward had gone AWOL.

I suppose it had been the shock of Rosalie and Emmett, (but when is _that _shocking, really?), in his Volvo. Coupled with us christening his bed.

Which he and Bella hadn't even really _used _properly yet. So, yeah. I'd say, all in all, that wasn't the best idea.

And then, as the icing on the cake, when he'd gone to Carlisle and Esme, they were, ahem, _indisposed _as well.

Or, I suppose you could also say overexposed. And, it happened to be the 'overexposure' part that Edward walked in on.

Talk about Sex Ed.

Okay, really not funny.

I thought about Edward and Bella. Where would they be now? Hmm, the meadow, probably.

Wait, why am _I _using the word probably? I can _check._

I searched for them, and a pixel perfect picture appeared in my mind. Of something I never needed to see.

I wonder if this is how he felt when he walked in on _us._

Ick.

Now that Eddie-dearest was having some fun, I saw no reason to be guilty.

"Hey guys, you won't _believe _what Edward and Bella are doing! Or, rather, what Bella just decided to do."

I said, in a normal voice.

I skipped down to the living room, where everyone had gathered.

Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie all looked up at me expectantly.

"Well?" Emmett asked, his golden eyes gleaming with anticipation.

I told them.

"And he accuses _us _of being vulgar and sex-crazed?" Rosalie said, outraged.

"So, what happens if he breaks Bella?" Emmett asked, sincerely.

"Didn't they make some sort of pact to stay celibate until marriage?" Jasper said, slightly confused.

"Yes, but apparently Bella has decided that after the emotional uproar he went through today, he deserved some action himself." I grinned.

We heard the Mercedes in the driveway just then. Seconds later, Carlisle and Esme walked through the door, looking rather harassed, if I may say so myself.

"Alright," Carlisle started, with an exasperated look on his face, "What did you all do to Edward _this _time?"

We had the good grace to look embarrassed.

He and Esme stood in front of us, looking quite irritated.

"Why? What'd happen?" Emmett asked, probably assuming something comical had happened.

I knew what had happened, but I hadn't actually wanted to spread the word. I mean, with Edward, it was funny.

Downright hilarious, actually.

But with your parents, adoptive _or _biological, it was gross. So I was trying not to think about it. It was bad enough that my vision was crystal clear, with no escape button.

"What _happened? _What happened was that _Edward, _in all his _mindreading _glory, walked in on Esme and I during a. . . . tender moment. Normally, he would've been _much _more observant to the thoughts around him. So we would like to be informed _exactly _what you all did to him, for his mind to be in _such _a disarray. Who'd like to begin?"

Jasper started.

"Well, you see, what _might _have triggered it, is that, earlier today, in fact, Edward happened to walk in on _us _during a tender moment." He stated, omitting the _actual _trigger.

"Well that shouldn't have set him off. It must be something else." Esme said, in motherly worry.

"Erm, well, Jasper _may _have _neglected _to mention that, the, _ahem, _'tender moment'? Well. It _may _have been. . . . . on his bed." I said, in an undertone, sheepishly.

"Oh _no!" _Esme's delicate hand went over her mouth in shock.

Jasper looked at his feet.

"You _didn't." _ Carlisle said, his hands going up to hold his head.

Rosalie arched one perfect eyebrow in pleasant surprise. "Did you now." She muttered, somewhat to herself.

Emmett, of course was grinning to himself like an idiot. Oh no, sorry. Like an oaf.

"No wonder he looked so traumatized today." Esme said.

"Err, Esme? That reason could've also been because of what he walked in on." Jasper said softly.

I swear, right then, if Esme could've blushed, she would've been redder than Bella's current tomato record.

Carlisle held up one white hand. "Before we decide how we are going to deal with this, does anyone _else _have any confessions to make?" he said, looking pointedly at Rosalie and Emmett.

Emmett looked ashamed. Rosalie decided to go with the story that she was fixing her car.

"Well, what it was-" Emmett started, when Rosalie elbowed him.

I raised my eyebrows at them.

"We both heard you. And Alice saw you, in advance. 'Fess up." Jasper told them.

"What happened was, we were in the garage, and Emmett's favourite song started playing, and then we started kissing, and, we. . . . .kinda decided to play follow the leader with the song. Um, In Edward's Volvo." Rosalie finished.

Esme gasped this time. Carlisle simply shook his head.

They both stood up again.

"You all should know better than this. Living with Edward for at _least _thirty years now, you should know that he doesn't like his things _touched. Especially _by parts of your bodies that are not your _hands._ He doesn't even like you two _near _the piano anymore, _that's _how terrible it's gotten." He looked pointedly at Rose and Emmett.

"Really, Edward has to take enough from all of you, both pre- _and _post- Bella. He can't put up with your teasing about his lack of a sex life anymore. And he _especially _can't put up with your spontaneous decisions to 'turn up the lust', Jasper." Carlisle reprimanded.

Jasper looked sheepish.

"So, please, if you don't want your brother to _die _of spontaneous com_bust_ion, please stop. You can continue after Bella is turned, and he's released of _all _his sexual tension, but, right now, if you don't want a psychotic, neurotic, _bi-_polar vampire around, I suggest you stop." Esme ended.

"Um, well, if you wanted him released of his sexual tension before we went back to taunting him, that'll be in approximately 10, 9, 8. . . . . ."

**Hey guys. Sorry about this, but I dunno. School has been piling it on, so I've gotten a chance to write, but not really to post.**

**So be nice little cookies and review okay?**

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